I have noticed at times that I am not as affectionate as I would like to be. Don't get me wrong I love on my kids and husband. But I catch myself pulling away from Elisha at times. I don't mean to I think he is growing up so fast, and he likes to lean on me a lot. He usually is pulling my hair or has to much body weight on me. I am really trying to show him how to be more careful. He has a hard time with us loving on Samuel and not him. We do love on him but he is a big boy now and Samuel is still a baby. I can't hold him like I can Samuel. He seems to get a little jealous at times. But I do know in no time he won't want us to love on him and that will make me so sad.
We were at some brethren's home the other day and they were talking about how they raised there kids. They mentioned how they wish they would of showed more affection to there kids. They have noticed that there kids don't hug them when they leave from seeing them. And this made them a little sad. Since they were the ones who taught them that. He was saying how he would watch his brothers kids and how they always gave there parents a hug everytime they saw them. And this touched him.
This made me think about how I act towards my mom and Lee's parents. I started looking at me and how I act. I have noticed that it doesn't come to me naturally. If someone gives me a hug I am all over it. But I hardly ever initiate the hug first. I feel sorda awkward. Then I look at different ones in my life and I paid attention to my sister-in-law Julie and noticed every time she leaves our in-laws house she always gives them a hug. I admire this in her, it tells me she was loved a lot as a kid. I am not saying I wasn't loved, I just feel that my Grandpa was a very hard man. I don't ever remember him hugging me. And I think this was passed down. My mom and dad did love on us when we was young. But I think it is something we all have a hard time with. When we don't see each other for along time then we seem to hug. But when we are around each other daily it just doesn't seem to be the thing to do.
I would really like to break this cycle. I want my kids to be affectionate and to be proud of it. I think ((HUGS)) are one of those things that do so many people so much good.
IT MAKES ME A HAPPY GAL TO HEAR FROM YOU!!!!
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I would have to say that I was hugged quite often when I was a child, and my parents still like to give hugs when we are visiting one another, however Sean's family really don't show a lot of affection to each other, and I think that trait has rubbed off on me over the years. I too sometimes feel awkward initiating a hug. But I agree hugs are a good thing and when given in the right moment can really make a person feel good. I could go on all day, but I guess thats all I will say for now :)
I think physical affection is super duper important too! I am a hugger...lol, at least I think I am, unless I can sense that it makes someone uncomfortable. However, Den's Aunt Esther wasn't a hugger, but EVERYTIME I see her I can't resist. Eventually she sent me a card telling me she loved it, and at that point I hadn't realized it was that hard on her, but I made a mental note to keep up the hugging.
My boys are huggers with their Dad and I, and they BETTER NOT outgrow that! hahaha You can heal many a word, foul mood, or just quietly say I love you with a little tossle of the hair, pat on the behind (reserve this for super duper close people *wink wink*), or a hand across the back. Love is a powerful thing! Great post Cherrie!
Thanks for writing this Cherrie, I feel the same way.
i have noticed that im the one that is affectionate out of me and chris i may be alittle to much i always give my mom and dad hugs and kisses and tell them i love them i guess its how you are raised i see how chris isnt like that towards his parents and they are the same with him it makes me sad i know he loves them and they love him but it breaks my heart what if they never got to see eachother again, i try to talk to him and tell him that he needs to have a softer heart with out sounding like im preaching to him but i do it cause i want aiden to grow up saying that his daddy gave him hugs and kisses and he felt the love cause my brother has a hard heart towards my dad for not hugging him when he was little my mom and dad are differnt people my mom always gives hugs and my dad on the other hand doesnt so much i have never thought my dad didnt love me cause he showed it to me in other ways but my brother is one that has to shown with a hug i love it when you can see a close bond between a family and im thankfull that my family has shown me so much love
I think hugs are important, especially with your own children. When Reggie comes home and he is almost 20, I always give him a hug right away. I think it is a nice way to start a welcome home.
I got a whole new look on getting and giving hugs when we moved to Yale. Everyone there was always giving hugs. I was surprised at first, but it made us feel such a closeness to them. It was very special.
I agree it is important to show affection. It is hard as Christian grows to know how to encourage affection and still keep it appropriate as he grows up.
I also try to tell my kids regularly that I love them. What's hard for me is telling extended family, and even my parents, siblings, etc that I love them. I need to work on this.
My kids are still really little so we still show a lot of affection around this house. Almost everyone just has to hug a baby!
Cherrie, Thanks for your sweet compliment on me. I truly believe that a person shows affection more if they were shown affection growing up. I was ALWAYS shown unconditional love from my parents, especially my dad. My whole family is very affectionate. So I really agree that it is SO important to show your kids a lot of affection. I know that sometimes you just want to be left alone, I do too ;) But for the most part I try to be affectionate to my kids. But I do have to say that you may not be as affectionate as you want ot be, but you are one of the most thoughtful, caring, and giving person I know. I am so glad to be your sister :)
Sometimes it is hard for me, but they won't have it any other way. We do a lot of physical affection, it's good for mama too.
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